Last Will and Restaurant This 68 page book contains around 1600 one-line poems created using the random sentence generator Sgen 1.0. Written at random, read at random. Funny stuff, strange stuff make your own images. Words in their pure form. A recipe, a product, an idea, a shape, a sound. Chance juxtapositions from a database of over 250,000 words.(Caution: Last Will and Restaurant contains strong language) Last Will and Restaurant is available by sending a cheque or postal order for £3.60 made payable to John Boardman together with an A5 SAE to Untold Tales, 88a College Road, Crosby, Liverpool L23 0RP, England. (Please allow at least 14 days for delivery)

Extracts from Last Will and Restaurant The Club Mix Wired Tales badger sneakers bald gooseberry women the drunken lady's umbrella some uncooked rice krispies the two fake sea serpents a bunch of complete and utter arse the goat's hour's worth of pants a goat's appreciation those acid horses the airfix lady's feet english spitting event hungarian behaviour barmy chicken bubblecar beer flavoured celebrity cheese the drunken rolling rock n' roll soft half finished can of chicken mad light aircraft shampoo fake hungarian behaviour cowering machines horn with eyes of moose grind satan's long legged jumper the socks out of two rosy nippled glass sneakers bud her paintways wetolsome now among fish to underbeat our beachorse her eatmutt as mad cool on silver breath About Duckparis existential beatween pot a fridgefire the goonight kiss Invasion of The True Semillion postable drone of helloitude lobster men and strawberry women but say as the lark doth say over when night off is and coat this world with language lost also living eyes autoborn of luck tone of joan electrobackwards belowmake clanking penis seepepper your past lobster in whiskey, chocolate green outer but spontaneous tales of maureen voice of toad this rehow fulfilmentalautomatic this transexperience the ingreat scat so tried and tested resonance and flesh of readyforsound check her dub his absent music backwards stick of electro yumyum the bingabout slender death the song out of malpepper neolobster man event radio, poop so lip, handsnap, moan of whispercoil ready the jelly above the cutter more tyre or brutish farwhile sky on scene wailing beyond goon into true original hooverfold fun up before time counterfulfilment productions the buckskin metamingus moon and hello more licksweet pie and gasflash backwards hair bananoasis ah dun goone gon proot the tone galloot 90 yr old gas jazz remembered dismembered lobster on moonstreaky uncheese of the essence boat of soft skinnipple down hood her oh fairy dickspeak cheap of slender most eatsuck yum yum of joy inability duck return of the experiencer for coremains of toad a teasemarsh bug of hour 47 the special squid girls moosex girls chocolate gobsqueezy mary hotel joy o'legs return of the rope wailing until the corndeep of moon Heidi lookout wet stabilizers the infinity number mighty hairy productions mercury 8am chocolate credentials at mighty metrotrax, megatrax directional butter how sprinkling that applenaked tubwhelk that speed planet of mercury onlino verdaceous beat of teenage faeces planet mix unstablecloths at 1001ulous gunradio OTHER BOOKS BY DARKLY Bagged Gazunga 1991 Chrysanthemum 49.16742 1992 Cafe of Dinosaurs 1992 The World Tastes of Arsenal 1992 Terms and Contradictions 1993 The OS Report 1997 Last Will and Restaurant 1999 In the Days of The Land of Cockaigne 1999 Untitled 2000